We often hear the expression ‘I’m not in love any more‘ but what exactly does that mean? Initially when we ‘fall in love’ it is a feeling of euphoria and we can’t think about anything or anyone else. We become all consumed with the thought of the other person and can’t wait to see them again.

This is an exciting time in anyone’s life, but being on cloud nine cannot possibly last forever. If it did we would never get anything done, and we’d gradually wear ourselves out. But need it reach the stage where you question, should you stay married if you’re not in love anymore.

What tends to happen after a while is that you develop a mutual love and respect for each other, become close friends and want to make the other person happy. Your happiness becomes their happiness also, and you start to share the day to day happenings in your lives and learn to appreciate each other’s points of view and to know when to compromise and when to stand your ground.

Over time a deep understanding and love takes the place of the overwhelming feelings you first experienced, and, if you work at it and are lucky, your relationship grows.

Respecting each other’s opinion and points of view is all important in any relationship, and so it’s important to realize that once that respect is lost it’s very difficult to get it back.

Before you start to feel you’re not in love with your partner any more, you should ask yourself if that’s because you are unhappy with yourself, with your financial situation, or your work. If there are children in the partnership, do you feel they’ve taken over your lives and you have become strangers to one another.

Think back to when you fell in love. What has changed? Have you both settled into a rut and become bored with each other? Does this necessarily mean you don’t love one another any more?

The tedium of everyday life can take away all our romantic notions of what our lives should be about. By doing things together and talking about your feelings and fears, sometimes it can start to bring back that closeness you once had.

If you don’t eat and drink you will die. The same can be said for a partnership. If you don’t keep one another’s interest alive by sharing things and doing things together your love will wither and die. If you lose sight of what is important to make your relationship stay fresh and fun, or if you let appearance and sense of humor go you will lose one another.

At least try to see where it went wrong before you finally say you no longer love your partner and give up on your marriage.

It’s sometimes easy to give up on something when all it takes is a little time and effort and you’ll be glad you tried again. Love is a strange thing, it can be exciting it’s true, but it can also be just wanting to be in the same room as someone.

Finally, sometimes it’s just distance that makes it seem like the love is gone. For some great advice on new ways to reconnect, click here.

There may be many reasons why a husband starts to treat his wife badly, and without knowing each situation personally, it’s impossible for anyone to be able to give a definitive answer. However, there are certain situations which can lead to a husband being unresponsive and uncaring.

1. First and foremost of course it may be that your husband is just an unfeeling and introverted person. This type of man finds it difficult to relate to anyone but in a married situation this can be extremely distressing.
2. Do you bother to try and stay attractive for your husband? Some women think that once they’re married they don’t have to make an effort to look attractive any more. A man is easily distracted if you don’t bother with yourself, and in turn of course he will take less care of himself.
3. Laughter is the best medicine so they say, and in a marriage it is vital. If you can be cheerful and make him laugh, no matter how difficult life is, you will keep a spark alive and be able face things together.
4. Don’t be possessive or over jealous. There’s nothing worse for a man than to feel trapped in a relationship. If you’re constantly looking for his approval, and resenting it every time he talks to another woman, you’re going to make him want to get away from you even more.
5. Be your own person. Don’t let him think he is the only thing in your life. Have interests and make a life for yourself as well. When you get home in the evenings you will then have interesting things to talk about to each other.
6. Don’t revolve your entire life around the children and leave your husband out in the cold. Do things together as a family and enjoy each other’s company en masse.
7. If you don’t respect yourself, you can’t expect anyone else to either. Learn to be in control of your life and you will be able to keep the interest alive in your marriage.

When a woman says ‘my husband treats me bad’ it’s usually assumed he beats her. If this is the case, then there is only one answer and that is to leave him. However much she may want to believe he will change the probability is that he won’t.

If on the other hand he just ignores her and does his own thing without including her, then some of the above points might help to turn the situation around.

If other people are interfering in your marriage then a husband will often start to respond by treating his wife badly. However much you love your parents, once you’re married your spouse and children should come first. You are setting up all sorts of problems for yourself if you allow outside interference no matter how well intended.

If you want your husband to stop treating you badly consider the above points, and take the time and effort to try to understand the underlying reasons for his actions. For more advice, click here.

My husband said he hates me? Does he really, or was it just words said in a moment of anger? How many times do we say things we don’t literally mean but which can be extremely hurtful nonetheless. What brings someone to the point where they feel such frustration and fury that they say such awful things to their partner?

When a couple stop sleeping together, argue all the time and appear to have lost interest in each other, then it seems inevitable that their marriage will end in divorce. This need not necessarily be true however, and many marriages have been brought back from the brink by simply changing attitudes and expectations.

Being subservient to your partner and pleading with them can cause a great deal of damage in any partnership. You lose your dignity and self respect. If you can’t respect yourself, how can you expect your partner to do so?

Relying totally on another human being for your happiness is destructive, and will eventually kill any feelings they may have had for you.

If your husband has become distant and aloof, then the time has come to look at your behaviour and see what may have caused it. Do you cling to him too much, do you need his attention all the time, can you make decisions for yourself or do you rely totally upon him?

On the other hand have you become distant, are you not interested in listening to him any more, do you not bother with yourself, and have the children become your overriding priority to the detriment of your marriage?
Whatever the cause, there is always a way to solve the problem.

A good way to start is to make your lives more interesting. It’s easy to settle into the boring routines which can rule our lives. Get dressed up, go out with friends, laugh about stupid things, and be your own person.

An interesting person is someone who indulges in their own pursuits and is cheerful and busy. Not everything has to revolve around the home and children. You are after all a person in your own right, and need to retain a certain amount of independence.

Changing the way you look from time to time can be exciting for your husband. A new hair cut or a different dress style can make all the difference to a failing marriage.

Take an interest in his hobbies or pastimes and indulge in them together. Take up a new interest and meet friends for a night out.

Change the bedroom routine, and give your sex life a boost by dressing for the occasion, and introducing new techniques. Don’t leave it to your husband to always be the instigator of a sexual evening together. Tell him how wonderful and strong he is in bed, that’s always a good booster for his ego.

If you want to save your marriage, show your husband you love him but not in a needy way, and try to retain some mystery in the relationship.

For more advice on rebuilding the love in your marriage, click here.

Will my trial marriage separation end in divorce? Yes, it will! Once you’ve reached the stage where you think the only thing to do is separate, you are almost certainly on the road of no return. Resolving problems before you get to that stage gives you a better chance of avoiding divorce.

If the marriage has, in your eyes become impossible, what makes you think that by walking away from it, albeit temporarily, it’s going to sort out the problem?

After having gone through a series of arguments and intolerable behavior, being on your own and living the single life can seem quite wonderful. However, what you’re not doing is facing up to what caused the problems and trying to resolve them.

The longer you’re away from each other, the less likely it is that you’ll get back together and try to save the marriage.

Marriage separation means you are prepared to live alone without your partner, and once this decision is made whatever caused the breakup in the first place will become less important to you and your partner, and you’ll drift apart.

It’s always best to try to solve a problem together and to realize that both of you are probably contributing to whatever difficulties you’re experiencing. If you loved one another once the chances are that love is still there but has been lost in everyday trials and tribulations.

Look back on what brought you together in the first place and try to recreate that in your lives before you decide to part. Once apart the chances of being able to do this become less and less.

Don’t pressurize each other, let things take their time, and try to be less aggressive and more understanding with each other. Even on points which you may feel quite strongly about, it’s sometimes best to agree and let it go. It doesn’t mean you’re weak, it means you feel the relationship is worth more than any specific issue.

It’s amazing how easy it is to make someone feel good about themselves by subtly letting them think they’ve made a right decision or solved a problem. Even if you’ve really been instrumental in the end result it can work wonders with any relationship if you let your partner have that moment of glory instead.

None of this can be achieved if you’re living apart, and what you once had together will be lost forever.

Sometimes a counselor can help you to realize the potential in your marriage and this is certainly one way to go if you feel you cannot work it out together. In the end though, the solution is in both your hands.

Look at the problems in an objective manner, write them down, and then try to see if they can be resolved by working together. Give it time before making the final decision especially if there are children involved, as this will affect them adversely also.

Will my trial separation cause my marriage to end in divorce? It almost certainly will, and then there’s no going back.

For more information on how to keep your marriage from ending, click here.

One of the best ways to make your husband happy is to laugh a lot. There is nothing worse for a husband than to be greeted by a miserable face when he comes home from work.

Before you can be happy for your husband though, you have to feel happy inside yourself. So it’s important to understand and know yourself in order to create a happy and contented home for you and your husband.

In order for you to be happy you have to enjoy the things you’re doing in your life. Work and children can take over but it’s essential you create ‘you’ time and develop your creative side. By making time to keep your hobbies alive you’ll be happier inside and it will show.

Be affectionate. There is nothing like a cuddle or a kiss to eliminate the day’s woes from your husband’s mind. If he knows he’s coming home to a loving wife and children it will cement the marriage.Keep yourself clean and attractive. Don’t let family or tiredness take away your dignity and your self esteem. Try to keep yourself looking at the very best you can so that your husband will want to be with you and can’t wait to come home.

After years of marriage this is not always easy, but it really can be achieved.

Always keep the home clean and make it a haven from the rest of the world. Keep the decor light and airy and have flowers displayed around the rooms to make them welcoming. If you can’t always afford fresh flowers, then use artificial ones and perhaps decorate them with greenery from the garden.

Take time and trouble over preparing the evening meal. A pizza is all right occasionally, but it’s hardly a romantic meal. You can plan in advance and perhaps prepare several dishes at the weekend in order to save you the time when you get home from work or from picking up the children. Think the meals through and try to choose things you know he particularly likes.

Sitting eating together is important in any marriage, as you can talk over the day’s events and laugh or cry together. Talking things over and laughing at things together can make even the bad events of the day more tolerable. Laughter is very definitely the best medicine.

Sometimes it’s good to give your husband space and quiet. He doesn’t necessarily want to hear lots of girlie gossip, save that for your friends. Silence can be a sign of affection in that you are aware of his need for solitude and quiet. Respect that and leave him to relax.

When you go out together don’t make him feel embarrassed because you are talking too loud and don’t relate private things to others.

Compliment him and let him know you appreciate how hard he works for you and your family. Don’t nag him about things he hasn’t done, rather mention in a subtle way and let him end up thinking he’s remembered it himself. A simple thing no doubt, but a good way to make your husband happy.

I know this advice seems like it comes from the 40’s, but being a good wife is the best first step to having your husband act like the man you want. For more advice on making your husband happy, click here.

Trust is a difficult think to attain and once it’s been broken is even more difficult to regain. However, if you really want to fix your marriage and save it from divorce, then you can work slowly towards creating a happy marriage once again.

The first thing to consider is what caused you to lose your trust in the first place. There has to be an understanding between both partners as to what led up to the problem. By talking about it and discussing the where’s and why’s you can work out how to try and rebuild the trust between you again.

There is no quick fix answer to lack of trust. Once you feel uncertain about your partner there is a constant feeling of doubt which is difficult to eliminate. It therefore has to be a joint effort and continuous openness in order to regain the feeling of security you once had.

Below are four ways of facing the problem and trying to overcome it:

1. You have to be prepared to forgive and to move on. If you are constantly feeling bitterness towards your spouse you will not be able to work together to rebuild the trust.
2. Talk, talk, talk. So often couples drift apart because they don’t talk to one another any more. By discussing your feelings and problems you can help each other to build a closeness and trust and feel secure in the knowledge that you’re helping each other to overcome any problems together.
3. Curb your suspicions and jealousy. Don’t watch and accuse every time your spouse is home late or spending time talking to someone else. Over possessiveness can lead to a feeling of claustrophobia and the instinct then is to run. You have to let go, and learn to trust again.
4. Try to keep the interest alive in the marriage by doing things together. Even making time to sit and dine together by candlelight one evening a week can help to reignite the romance you feel you may have lost.

Apart from your partner’s indiscretions which originally caused the problem, be it financial, another partner, or whatever other reason, you should also look to yourself. Could it be that you have in some way contributed to the situation.

Trust is a difficult thing to define, but to a certain extent we all want to feel we can rely on someone completely before we commit to them. The fact that this doesn’t always work out does not mean it can’t be rectified, and if there was once a deep love then it’s definitely worth trying to overcome the problems together for the sake of your family.

Remember though, it’s a two way solution and you must both commit to it completely for it to work. You can fix a marriage after trust has gone, but it will take time and patience and a great deal of self searching. If the love is still there it’s worth the effort. For more advice on repairing trust, click here.