You are feeling your marriage has lost its spark, you’re fed up with your wife and you can’t stand all the arguments and bad feeling that seems to be the norm in your life at the moment. So you ask yourself why you shouldn’t just divorce your wife. Here are four good reasons not to.

• It has been shown that divorced men suffer more illnesses than married men. Many divorced men become depressed and withdrawn, and as a result their work suffers. A divorced man is not always looked upon as good promotional material within a company.
• If there are children in the marriage it can cause them extreme distress, and will almost certainly cause them difficulties within their future relationships. They will find themselves with divided loyalties and not know how to cope.
• The financial aspect of getting divorced can be crippling, and can cause you, your wife and your children a great deal of financial hardships.
• Divorce causes a great deal of stress all around the family concerned, and can lead to both physical and mental health problems.

Are you absolutely certain that the love you once felt and vows you took are irretrievable?

Bearing all the above points in mind, perhaps it would be wise to consider why your marriage has become impossible for you.

Financial problems are always a big strain on any marriage however perfect it may be. Nothing is insurmountable if you both love each other, and by reassessing your lifestyle and coming to terms with what is really important in your lives, i.e., each other, you can overcome and win through any financial situation as long as you do it together.
Boredom is a killer, and if you’ve allowed your marriage to settle into a rut where there are no nice surprises, and you don’t bother to look nice for each other, then you’re on a downward spiral.

If you can recognize this then you’re half way there to rectifying it. Don’t become complacent and think you don’t have to bother any more. If you want that sparkle to return then you must make it happen.

Be optimistic and talk about your future together. No matter how hopeless your situation may seem, you can turn it around if you want to. Don’t wait for things to happen, make them happen.

If you’re always arguing, then ask yourself what the arguments are about. Listen to each other and if you can’t resolve a situation then ask someone else for advice if necessary. Whatever it is that’s causing such disagreements there is always a way to sort it through. Remember you loved each other once and believe that you can again.

Marriage is a commitment which once undertaken takes a great deal of work and compromise for it to become a long lasting, mutually agreeable relationship. The grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence, but in the end any relationship requires a great deal of effort to keep it alive. If you divorce your wife, it means you’ve given up on what could have been a good life.

If you’re ready to try to make your marriage better, click here.

Some women are lucky enough never to have to ask the question, “how do I know if my husband still loves me?” However, there are many men who find it difficult to express their feelings in words and this can lead to his partner feeling unsure of his love for her.

As time goes by in a marriage, a man often doesn’t think it necessary to tell his wife how much he loves her. This doesn’t necessarily mean he’s lost interest, it’s just that men think it unnecessary to keep reassuring their spouse how much they mean to them.

Women generally are far more outgoing in expressing themselves and can’t understand why men aren’t the same, but men are generally far more reserved.

By taking care of his family and providing for them, a man is showing his love for them in the best way he can. He may not necessarily always say what you want to hear, but he will show it in the things he does for you and the children and in little gestures of affection.

If he still wants to be with you and do things together then he obviously still has the love for you or he would make excuses and not be around so much.

If you feel you’re losing his affection then try to understand what’s causing him to be distracted and do something about it. He may be preoccupied with problems at work, in which case it helps to have someone to talk it over with.
Don’t forget to greet him when he comes home with enthusiasm and a smile. How nice to open the door to a warm welcome rather than a tired and grumpy one. If you want to keep your husband’s love you have to make the home a haven at the end of the day for both of you. A happy atmosphere makes so much difference to your soul, and helps you to overcome so many things in life.

Love grows and deepens when you share things together and respect each other’s need for space. Marriage doesn’t mean you have to be in each other’s pockets all the time. Different activities and interests keep a marriage alive and make it grow.

Realizing when your husband is worried or unhappy means you care about him, and the same applies in reverse. If your husband doesn’t see when you’re unwell or feeling tired, then something is missing in your relationship and it’s time to rectify it.

Don’t take him for granted, but don’t become part of the furniture in his life either. Love has to be fed or it will die and if you are endeavouring to keep the marriage harmonious then his love will continue to thrive. You will see this in the way he looks at you, and in the things he does for you.

How do you know if he still loves you? If you laugh and love together, then you will know.

For more advice on brining love back into your marriage, click here.

Marriage is sometimes entered into lightly, but the reality is that it’s a commitment which needs nurturing and patience in order to be successful. The secrets to a long and happy marriage are not really secrets at all, just knowing how to retain the love and friendship which brought you together in the first place.

1. If you get married thinking you can change your partner into someone else, forget it! You were undoubtedly attracted to them in the first place because of who they were, so why should you want them to change? Adapt yourself to fit in with your spouse if you want your marriage to succeed.
2. Whatever happens, don’t stop talking to each other. A problem shared is a problem halved so the saying goes, and it is definitely true in a marriage. Whatever your difficulties they can be sorted out together rather than apart.
3. Don’t stop being intimate with one another. Love and affection are so important in order to keep the spark alive in a marriage. Sex is important, but so is holding each other and considering the other’s needs and desires in a sexual relationship.
4. No-one is perfect, not even you! You should already know some of your spouse’s so called flaws before you marry, but sometimes in a domestic situation they can suddenly seem to have blown out of proportion. Learn to accept them, or subtly try to point them out, but never let them become a barrier in your relationship.
5. The worst thing anyone can do to someone close to them is to totally ignore them. The feeling of worthlessness this creates can cause a multitude of problems. In order for your marriage to remain a happy one, you must always appreciate the other’s point of view and make allowances.
6. Arguing is all part and parcel of living with someone. You can’t always agree no matter how close you are to one another. Don’t let the arguments get out of hand though, and don’t let them fester.
7. It’s important to retain the part of yourself which is outside of the marriage. So don’t let your friends disappear, keep up your relationships and spend time with them. It will also give you things to talk about when you get home.
8. Don’t take each other for granted. Don’t expect your spouse to automatically always do the chores or to accept your bad moods. Consider their feelings, and their daily tasks, and offer to help out.
9. Try to have time to yourselves when you can sit in a romantic setting and enjoy each other’s company as you did before you were married. It will remind you of why you got together in the first place, and will also help to create a deep friendship.
10. Whatever problems you encounter, and however awful they may seem at times, try to find it in your heart to forgive each other. A long and happy marriage is often built on the art of being able to forgive.

For even more secrets of a long and happy marriage, click here.

In any marriage there comes a time when, for whatever reason, things become strained and arguments develop. In some ways it’s healthy to have disagreements, but when they start to take over the happy marriage you once new then it’s time to do something about it.

Below are six things that can cause a marriage to disintegrate:

• Spending too much time away from home and each other, either working or mixing with friends, doesn’t help a relationship. It’s inevitable that a spouse will feel neglected and start to wonder what the attraction is that keeps you away from home.
• Sex is important in any marriage as the intimacy between two people binds you closer together. If the sex becomes less and less then the chances are your feelings for each other will diminish and you will feel isolated.
• Financial problems are often a major cause of disharmony in a marriage. However, if you don’t try to work the issues out together your marriage will not survive. The first thing to do is assess the situation and see where the problem lies. Help each other to overcome the problem and face up to whatever needs to be done.
• Don’t let yourself go. A scruffy appearance and unclean habits can be a big turn off. It really doesn’t take that much effort to keep yourself looking good and it’s as much for yourself as your partner. By making the effort every day to look your best you will feel more confident and happier inside. A disciplined daily routine can be achieved no matter what your situation and will keep your interest in each other alive.
• Being affectionate does not always come easily to some people, but if you want to retain that initial feeling you had for each other it’s important to show affection. Everyone likes to feel loved, and it’s not enough to say ‘well you know I love you’. As the song from ‘My Fair Lady’ says…..”show me!”.
• Arguments are inevitable in any marriage, but to carry the grudge around with you, and perhaps sulk for days on end, is very destructive. It builds up even more aggression and makes it impossible to let go. It really isn’t that difficult to say ’sorry’ and that one little word can make all the difference in the world.

A happy marriage is built on compromise, talking, listening, being prepared to not always be right, and sharing problems together. No problem is insurmountable if you face it together and work to ease the burden of it as one.

Marriage is not an easy institution, but then nothing that’s worthwhile ever is. You cannot expect to be happy ever after if you’re not prepared to put everything you have into the union and face up to whatever comes your way. It’s easy to lose sight of your hopes and dreams when life becomes difficult, but together you can overcome most things if you really want to.

To learn even more ways you can keep the love in your marriage, click here.

Part of the difficulty with marriage is that the only training we get is “on the job.” Rarely do you say to someone, “I want you to go work with those tools in there. Have fun, get the job done, and don’t kill yourself.” But, essentially, that is the start of a marriage. We have some rudimentary skills from relating to others, but the real knowledge and skills are hard-earned.

And the problem is, sometimes we learn lessons that are incorrect, or at least only partially true. These become the myths of our marriages. They are the stories we tell to ourselves in attempts to understand. Unfortunately, they are only partially right, at best. Often, they are totally wrong. Once we learn the stories, we refuse to give them up.

I’ve chosen 5 of the most common myths of marriage. You can decide if you tell yourself these stories, and if so, what you might be missing. Because, you see, the stories we tell ourselves determine how we act and what we assume. And that, ultimately, can either teach you to use the tools or allow you to injure yourself.

MYTH: “Marriage shouldn’t be this hard.”

Lie this leads to: “If it is, maybe we shouldn’t be married.”

This is a powerful story about marriage. People assume that good marriages are easy, and there is no struggle. There is the romantic belief that good relationships “just work.” Science has yet to discover a perpetual energy machine, and I doubt relationships are any different.

This summer, I was at a beach that hosts the annual sea turtle nesting. The large mother sea turtle lumbers up the beach, just above the high-tide mark, right at the base of the sand dunes, digs a hole some 18 inches into the ground, and lays a large group of eggs. Those eggs are left to develop and hatch, usually a couple of months later.

Now, here’s the interesting thing: those tiny turtles (maybe 3 inches long) have to make the long trek from the nest to the sea. The long trek for the mother turtle is very long for the baby turtle. Some people have felt bad for the turtles in the past, and decided to help them to the surf.

By being picked up and carried to the surf, the “helpers” insured the death of the baby turtles. You see, that long trek to the sea builds the muscles in the flippers of the baby turtle. Those muscles are all that ensure the survival of the babies.

Some struggle (not too much) is necessary for developing the muscles of survival. It is true with relationships, and certainly true with marriage. When we struggle together, we develop the skills necessary to take on other struggles.

The real task is not to have a marriage that is easy. The real task is to learn how to allow the struggle to move you together, not push you apart. The statistics are pretty clear. Almost half of all marriages end in divorce. However, the hidden statistic is that 100% of marriages have difficulties. Staying married is not from a lack of difficulties, it is from using the difficulties to learn and develop.