save your marriage Archives

If you feel your marriage is failing the chances are you’re not communicating with your partner, or your communication is in the form of continuous arguments.

The reasons for the disintegration of a marriage are varied, but there are things you can do to try to solve the problems that have gradually made the partnership a miserable one.

  • Talk to each other. Ask each other what they dislike about things in the marriage and see how they can be resolved. Discuss problems sensibly and try to solve them together. Talk and most of all listen. You may not like what you hear, but if you’re open with each other, you’re on the first step to solving the problems.
  • Don’t suffocate your partner. Everyone needs their own space. If you need to know everything they’re doing, where they’ve been, who they’ve seen, it can be extremely claustrophobic. Being constantly worried about what your partner’s up to can destroy a relationship very quickly.
  • Support each other. No matter what problems arise in a marriage, by supporting each other through it you will grow closer and the problems will not overtake your lives.
  • Compromise. Today that is almost seen as a rude word, but compromise is important in any relationship. It means you love someone enough to forego your own particular needs from time to time in order to create a happy environment. This has to be done from both sides, and it will help to give you a good basis from which to move forward in the marriage.
  • Discipline. Discipline in the way you look after yourself and keep yourself looking as attractive as possible. Keeping the home as a place of warmth and welcoming when you get home at night makes such a difference as to how you both perceive each other. It can be achieved and is well worth the effort no matter how tired you may be at the end of the day.
  • Don’t let your children rule your marriage. However much you both love your children they should not dominate your home to the extent that you and your partner never get time for each other. Sharing things together as a family is essential, but at the end of the day it should be time for you and your partner to sit and talk about things together.
  • Make time for each other and don’t take one another for granted. No-one knows what tomorrow may bring, so make the most of what you have today. Remember, each day can be lived in utter misery or happily, the choice is yours. Let tomorrow take care of itself and enjoy each other today.
  • Keep your interests alive. Don’t become boring. There are wonderful things to see and do in the world, so participate in them as much as possible, both together and apart. Then you can come together at the end of the day and talk about them, keeping your interest in each other alive.

There are many other save marriage tips which will hopefully make you see it’s never impossible to keep your partnership alive. Learn more tips here, and start trying today.

The failure of a marriage is never due to one specific thing, but a culmination of things which are at first ignored until the situation becomes untenable. Should couples become strangers to one another, it’s a long hard road back to the relationship you once had.

Tackling problems at the outset can make a tremendous difference in any marriage. Talking to each other and discussing things that cause you to feel undermined or aggravated can often help to rectify a situation before it gets out of hand.

Sharing thoughts and problems means you are retaining interest in one another, and learning to cope with whatever life throws at you as a couple.

Too often a partner blames the other for things and the problem festers until it creates arguments where neither one is prepared to listen to the other. By sitting down and listening to each other’s point of view, things often become clearer and over time compromise and tolerance help you through the most difficult problems.

Don’t expect your partner to understand how you’re feeling all the time. The chances are you can both become introverted and keep thoughts and feelings to yourself. This leads to a great chasm forming between you, which could be difficult to overcome. Don’t let that happen!

It’s essential you both have interests, shared and individual, which will keep your senses alive and give you things to talk and laugh about. Participation in things together can bring people together in spirit and body.

Sexual problems will not be solved by ignoring the problem. Once again talking about them and trying to create time for one another can help you to revitalize feelings you once had. Sex is often put on the back burner when there are financial problems, or when children come into the marriage. It’s easy to see how this can happen, but it need not become an insurmountable problem.

Try to spend time alone together, have a romantic evening now and then, and discuss your hopes, dreams and desires with each other.

Support your partner, even if you’re not convinced they are right. There are ways of steering people away from something you think is wrong without shouting and arguing. Diplomacy is always the best way to get over certain situations. So it means you have to compromise a little, so what! Do you want to have a happy marriage, or would you rather live alone?

These are the things we must think about very carefully before we take the road towards divorce.

Don’t try to change the other person into what you want. Chances are you’d hate them for it in any case. After all, when you got married you loved them for what they were, so why change it.

Don’t let yourself down by not bothering to look after your appearance. Retain your dignity and self discipline and make sure you look as good as you can for your partner.

Divorce is final and can lead to loneliness. Preventing divorce can be achieved by determination and understanding. If you’re trying to prevent a divorce, but are stuck on how to proceed, click here for more advice.

The signs are there, and you’re aware that your partner is unhappy, or that you’re feeling miserable in the marriage. Often being aware there’s a problem makes many of us bury our heads in the sand and hope it will get better. This rarely happens and the important thing to remember is that in order to save Christian marriage it’s important to listen to each other.

Sounds simple doesn’t it? Strangely enough so many couples fall into a state of not bothering to speak to one another, and the consequence is that ultimately they become strangers.

Think back to the day you walked down the aisle and swore to God that you would love each other forever. What has changed since then to bring about your deep unhappiness in the marriage?

It’s only when you sit down together and try to work out what’s gone wrong that you can begin to both understand and solve the problems.

Whatever problems there are in a marriage, one thing is for sure, you won’t solve them unless you’re prepared to talk and listen to each other.

Try not to lose sight of the love you have for each other. No matter what your circumstances are endeavor to keep the romance alive by doing things together, enjoying each other’s bodies, and laughing and crying together. Remember God joined you, so it’s up to you to work at keeping God’s belief in your marriage alive.

Financial problems, family problems, ill health, are just a few of the things that can put a strain on any marriage. Everyone faces these problems throughout their lifetime, and they’re not always easy to resolve. Learn to be patient and tolerant, and try to keep things in perspective. Trying to understand the other person’s point of view is so important. You may never completely agree, but at least give each other the dignity of being allowed to think the way they do.

You may feel your partner is suddenly becoming attracted to someone else. Or indeed, you may feel attracted to someone else. This is quite normal. You can hardly go through life with blinkers on. Naturally you will see other people you find attractive.

This doesn’t mean you should act upon it. Remember the vows you made to God, and realize also that any relationship will inevitably fall into a routine like state. The attraction is usually born out of the need for ‘something new and exciting to happen’. The fact is that you can make this happen for you with your chosen partner, you don’t need to look elsewhere.

If you let it, life can take away your dignity and self esteem. The answer is don’t let this happen to you or your marriage. Whatever life throws your way, face it together with love and the belief that God will show you the way.

Follow the path you initially began the day you stood in the church, and save Christian marriage.

The signs are there, and you’re aware that your partner is unhappy, or that you’re feeling miserable in the marriage. Often being aware there’s a problem makes many of us bury our heads in the sand and hope it will get better. This rarely happens and the important thing to remember is that in order to save Christian marriage it’s important to listen to each other.

Sounds simple doesn’t it? Strangely enough so many couples fall into a state of not bothering to speak to one another, and the consequence is that ultimately they become strangers.

Think back to the day you walked down the aisle and swore to God that you would love each other forever. What has changed since then to bring about your deep unhappiness in the marriage?

It’s only when you sit down together and try to work out what’s gone wrong that you can begin to both understand and solve the problems.

Whatever problems there are in a marriage, one thing is for sure, you won’t solve them unless you’re prepared to talk and listen to each other.

Try not to lose sight of the love you have for each other. No matter what your circumstances are endeavor to keep the romance alive by doing things together, enjoying each other’s bodies, and laughing and crying together. Remember God joined you, so it’s up to you to work at keeping God’s belief in your marriage alive.

Financial problems, family problems, ill health, are just a few of the things that can put a strain on any marriage. Everyone faces these problems throughout their lifetime, and they’re not always easy to resolve. Learn to be patient and tolerant, and try to keep things in perspective. Trying to understand the other person’s point of view is so important. You may never completely agree, but at least give each other the dignity of being allowed to think the way they do.

You may feel your partner is suddenly becoming attracted to someone else. Or indeed, you may feel attracted to someone else. This is quite normal. You can hardly go through life with blinkers on. Naturally you will see other people you find attractive.

This doesn’t mean you should act upon it. Remember the vows you made to God, and realize also that any relationship will inevitably fall into a routine like state. The attraction is usually born out of the need for ‘something new and exciting to happen’. The fact is that you can make this happen for you with your chosen partner, you don’t need to look elsewhere.

If you let it, life can take away your dignity and self esteem. The answer is don’t let this happen to you or your marriage. Whatever life throws your way, face it together with love and the belief that God will show you the way.

Follow the path you initially began the day you stood in the church, and save Christian marriage.

Trust is a difficult think to attain and once it’s been broken is even more difficult to regain. However, if you really want to fix your marriage and save it from divorce, then you can work slowly towards creating a happy marriage once again.

The first thing to consider is what caused you to lose your trust in the first place. There has to be an understanding between both partners as to what led up to the problem. By talking about it and discussing the where’s and why’s you can work out how to try and rebuild the trust between you again.

There is no quick fix answer to lack of trust. Once you feel uncertain about your partner there is a constant feeling of doubt which is difficult to eliminate. It therefore has to be a joint effort and continuous openness in order to regain the feeling of security you once had.

Below are four ways of facing the problem and trying to overcome it:

  1. You have to be prepared to forgive and to move on. If you are constantly feeling bitterness towards your spouse you will not be able to work together to rebuild the trust.
  2. Talk, talk, talk. So often couples drift apart because they don’t talk to one another any more. By discussing your feelings and problems you can help each other to build a closeness and trust and feel secure in the knowledge that you’re helping each other to overcome any problems together.
  3. Curb your suspicions and jealousy. Don’t watch and accuse every time your spouse is home late or spending time talking to someone else. Over possessiveness can lead to a feeling of claustrophobia and the instinct then is to run. You have to let go, and learn to trust again.
  4. Try to keep the interest alive in the marriage by doing things together. Even making time to sit and dine together by candlelight one evening a week can help to reignite the romance you feel you may have lost.

Apart from your partner’s indiscretions which originally caused the problem, be it financial, another partner, or whatever other reason, you should also look to yourself. Could it be that you have in some way contributed to the situation.

Trust is a difficult thing to define, but to a certain extent we all want to feel we can rely on someone completely before we commit to them. The fact that this doesn’t always work out does not mean it can’t be rectified, and if there was once a deep love then it’s definitely worth trying to overcome the problems together for the sake of your family.

Remember though, it’s a two way solution and you must both commit to it completely for it to work. You can fix a marriage after trust has gone, but it will take time and patience and a great deal of self searching. If the love is still there it’s worth the effort. For more advice on repairing trust, click here.

In any marriage there comes a time when, for whatever reason, things become strained and arguments develop. In some ways it’s healthy to have disagreements, but when they start to take over the happy marriage you once new then it’s time to do something about it.

Below are six things that can cause a marriage to disintegrate:

  • Spending too much time away from home and each other, either working or mixing with friends, doesn’t help a relationship. It’s inevitable that a spouse will feel neglected and start to wonder what the attraction is that keeps you away from home.
  • Sex is important in any marriage as the intimacy between two people binds you closer together. If the sex becomes less and less then the chances are your feelings for each other will diminish and you will feel isolated.
  • Financial problems are often a major cause of disharmony in a marriage. However, if you don’t try to work the issues out together your marriage will not survive. The first thing to do is assess the situation and see where the problem lies. Help each other to overcome the problem and face up to whatever needs to be done.
  • Don’t let yourself go. A scruffy appearance and unclean habits can be a big turn off. It really doesn’t take that much effort to keep yourself looking good and it’s as much for yourself as your partner. By making the effort every day to look your best you will feel more confident and happier inside. A disciplined daily routine can be achieved no matter what your situation and will keep your interest in each other alive.
  • Being affectionate does not always come easily to some people, but if you want to retain that initial feeling you had for each other it’s important to show affection. Everyone likes to feel loved, and it’s not enough to say ‘well you know I love you’. As the song from ‘My Fair Lady’ says…..”show me!”.
  • Arguments are inevitable in any marriage, but to carry the grudge around with you, and perhaps sulk for days on end, is very destructive. It builds up even more aggression and makes it impossible to let go. It really isn’t that difficult to say ’sorry’ and that one little word can make all the difference in the world.

A happy marriage is built on compromise, talking, listening, being prepared to not always be right, and sharing problems together. No problem is insurmountable if you face it together and work to ease the burden of it as one.

Marriage is not an easy institution, but then nothing that’s worthwhile ever is. You cannot expect to be happy ever after if you’re not prepared to put everything you have into the union and face up to whatever comes your way. It’s easy to lose sight of your hopes and dreams when life becomes difficult, but together you can overcome most things if you really want to.

To learn even more ways you can keep the love in your marriage, click here.

If you are having issues and arguments with your spouse you will want to find some good marriage advice. There are a number of sources for advice on marriage and keeping things going well. If you are close to your family and you have watched your parents or siblings enjoy a great marriage you can turn to them when you need advice. Most people do not seek advice until there is a problem to be addressed and you should be looking for advice on marriage before you even get married.

Many people think that they need to get married to be worthwhile in the public’s eyes without realizing that the real reason to get married is to spend the rest of your life with a person that you are truly in love with. In just about any other situation in life you can research online and make truly informed decisions, but with marriage you do not have any tried and true sources to go to. There are any number of so called marriage experts that you can go to for advice, but most of them address conflict and do not give you practical advice on getting started from day one in your marriage to build the best base for a life long partnership.

Truly understanding what you partner desires in life and how they communicate is a good way to start working on your marriage. Communicating without conflict and condescension is extremely important. Too many men feel that they know it all and do not look on marriage as a two way street and a cooperation of equal partners. Whether the man is the sole income provider or not makes no difference in the importance of each spouse’s role. There have been studies that show if you had to pay for the services provided for a stay at home mom she would need to pull down six figures just to pay for what she has to do every single day. This is a true case of outsourcing not being the way to go to reduce expenses. One only has to look at what it costs for daycare to see that it is important to make the stay at home spouse feel that they are appreciated.

The day to day stresses of finances, work problems and dealing with issues with the children can strain the marriage relationship to the breaking point especially if both spouses do not take the time to communicate everything that is going on and address the issues as they come up. The person bringing in the income may not realize that helping with the house hold chores is extremely important and that giving the stay at home spouse time away from the kids is key to keeping everyone sane.

If you are looking for good marriage advice you should start with a counselor recommended by someone you respect at your church. Another great place for advice is a person your respect who already has a good marriage and the time to speak with you about what is happening.