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Troubled Marriage Advice Archives

3 Pieces of Advice I’d Give my 18-Year-Old Self if I Could

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18 year old self 3 Pieces of Advice Id Give my 18 Year Old Self if I Could
What if…

Last Saturday afternoon, I stopped by the mall to do a little shopping. The crowd was light since it was a beautiful day during the off season.

I wasn’t in any real hurry, so I just walked the mall, stopping by stores that looked interesting.

There were moments when it felt as if I had the whole mall to myself. As I was lost in my own thoughts, three teenage girls burst out of Spencer’s Gifts, laughing loudly.

They looked like they were dressed for some kind of retro party. They had big hair, bold makeup and clothes that looked like the early days of MTV.

I guess I was staring. One of the girls stood out from the others. She had HUGE bleach-blonde hair and these jeans with holes all over. There was something very familiar with the way she was carefully trying to be seen but make it seem as if she wasn’t trying. As she turned towards me and caught my bewildered stare, I realized why she looked so familiar.

It was me. At eighteen. Read the rest of this entry

“I love you, but I’m not in love with you.”

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ilybinilwy 215x300 I love you, but Im not in love with you.
These are some of the hardest words to hear from your spouse in a marriage – I love you but I’m not in love with you.

Often they come as a surprise. For years your marriage has been the same. Sure, there have been problems, but nothing that might put the marriage at risk. Then, out of the blue, your spouse tells you this.

What does it mean?

First, know that this is a very common phrase in marital difficulties. While the specifics might be different, generally the meaning is the same. So while your specific marriage issues might not perfectly match this (short) article, just know that you really aren’t alone. Now on to what your spouse is trying to say. Read the rest of this entry

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How to Stop Divorce and Fix Your Broken Marriage

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If you are afraid that your marriage is already in the brink of divorce, you have to learn how to stop divorce. This way, you can solve all the domestic issues that have been troubling your marriage while strengthening your relationship with your spouse at the same time.

Here are some tips that can help you live in domestic harmony. Read the rest of this entry

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The Eight Top Tips to Save Marriage from Disaster

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If you feel your marriage is failing the chances are you’re not communicating with your partner, or your communication is in the form of continuous arguments.

The reasons for the disintegration of a marriage are varied, but there are things you can do to try to solve the problems that have gradually made the partnership a miserable one.

  • Talk to each other. Ask each other what they dislike about things in the marriage and see how they can be resolved. Discuss problems sensibly and try to solve them together. Talk and most of all listen. You may not like what you hear, but if you’re open with each other, you’re on the first step to solving the problems. Read the rest of this entry

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Should You Stay Married If You’re Not in Love Anymore? My Advice Based on Experience

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We often hear the expression ‘I’m not in love any more‘ but what exactly does that mean? Initially when we ‘fall in love’ it is a feeling of euphoria and we can’t think about anything or anyone else. We become all consumed with the thought of the other person and can’t wait to see them again.

This is an exciting time in anyone’s life, but being on cloud nine cannot possibly last forever. If it did we would never get anything done, and we’d gradually wear ourselves out. But need it reach the stage where you question, should you stay married if you’re not in love anymore.

What tends to happen after a while is that you develop a mutual love and respect for each other, become close friends and want to make the other person happy. Your happiness becomes their happiness also, and you start to share the day to day happenings in your lives and learn to appreciate each other’s points of view and to know when to compromise and when to stand your ground.

Over time a deep understanding and love takes the place of the overwhelming feelings you first experienced, and, if you work at it and are lucky, your relationship grows.

Respecting each other’s opinion and points of view is all important in any relationship, and so it’s important to realize that once that respect is lost it’s very difficult to get it back.

Before you start to feel you’re not in love with your partner any more, you should ask yourself if that’s because you are unhappy with yourself, with your financial situation, or your work. If there are children in the partnership, do you feel they’ve taken over your lives and you have become strangers to one another.

Think back to when you fell in love. What has changed? Have you both settled into a rut and become bored with each other? Does this necessarily mean you don’t love one another any more?

The tedium of everyday life can take away all our romantic notions of what our lives should be about. By doing things together and talking about your feelings and fears, sometimes it can start to bring back that closeness you once had.

If you don’t eat and drink you will die. The same can be said for a partnership. If you don’t keep one another’s interest alive by sharing things and doing things together your love will wither and die. If you lose sight of what is important to make your relationship stay fresh and fun, or if you let appearance and sense of humor go you will lose one another.

At least try to see where it went wrong before you finally say you no longer love your partner and give up on your marriage.

It’s sometimes easy to give up on something when all it takes is a little time and effort and you’ll be glad you tried again. Love is a strange thing, it can be exciting it’s true, but it can also be just wanting to be in the same room as someone.

If you think back to when you first met, your love grew over time. When you first dated, you discovered the ways you connected, like friends would do. Of course, there was also passion, but the friendship is what really starts building a lasting connection. Often when these connections are gone, we tend to think it’s our love that’s faded.

The book, Save the Marriage, has some steps that anyone can take to start rebuilding these basic connections that make a marriage strong. Dr. Baucom also addresses the pitfalls – the things you shouldn’t say or do… things that will push your spouse further away. I highly recommend this book if you’d like to rediscover the love in your marriage… or even just within yourself.

For likely less than one session with a marriage counselor, Dr. Baucom’s book will walk you through months of counseling. Not only that, but right now he’s throwing in a quick-start guide to help you begin to turn things around today as well as several other valuable resources. I’ve looked at dozens of courses, guides, and books on restoring love in a marriage, and this is the only one I recommend. Click here to read more about it…

You’ll probably find that your marriage not only can be saved, but can be better than it’s ever been.

 

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Why Does My Husband Treat Me So Badly? I’ll Tell You Some Possible Reasons

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There may be many reasons why a husband starts to treat his wife badly, and without knowing each situation personally, it’s impossible for anyone to be able to give a definitive answer. However, there are certain situations which can lead to a husband being unresponsive and uncaring.

  1. First and foremost of course it may be that your husband is just an unfeeling and introverted person. This type of man finds it difficult to relate to anyone but in a married situation this can be extremely distressing. Read the rest of this entry

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