Unless there’s abuse, substance abuse, or criminal behavior, I always lean towards saving the marriage, especially when there are children involved. I suspect that you’re looking outside of your marriage because you feel like your marriage is missing something – or a lot of things.

I’d like for you to try something. Please do this before making a mistake that you could regret for the rest of your life. For the next 90 days, put all of your effort into being the wife you should be. Don’t try to “fix” your husband. Don’t worry about what he is or what he isn’t. Don’t criticize him because he is doing this or isn’t doing that, and don’t worry at all about who’s doing more or or who’s doing less (around the house, with your child, in bed, etc.). Just focus on you, and try to be the best wife you can be.

Men have a need to be respected by their wives. It’s just like your need to be listened to. Show him that your appreciate him and that you respect him, both by your actions and your words. It’s even OK to go a little overboard, but be sincere. If you put real effort into this for 90 days, I strongly suspect that the attraction for your old flame will have subsided, and thet you’ll see more of what you need in your marriage.

There’s only so much advice I can give in comments on a blog. If you really want to make a go of your marriage, I highly recommend the following book: Save the Marriage by Dr. Le Baucom. It can help even the most broken marriage get back on track.

Please follow up and let me (us) know how things have turned out.

If you weren’t already separated, the chances would be much greater at a reconciliation.

(P.S. I edited your name. No need to tell the whole world your problems.)