Often we tend to shift a great deal of the blame for marriage issues to our spouse instead of taking responsibility. That’s not fair nor is it realistic. It’s best to focus on what you can do to make your marriage better. One of the most effective steps to take is to work at making love a verb rather than a noun.
In most marriages, people tend to think of love as a thing. They are sad that they don’t seem to have as much of it as they used to. They might be sad that love is completely missing from their marriage. In addition to, “how to make my husband happy,” I often hear other questions like, “where did the love go?”
The truth is that love is a verb — or it should be.
How can you show your husband that you love him? Men need to feel that they are respected by their wife. That’s a primary, basic need that men have.
How to make my husband happy? Find ways to honestly build him up.
Don’t flatter him, but if he’s strong, make sure you tell him how much you appreciate his strength and how safe that makes your feel. If he’s smart, tell him how much you appreciate the way he thinks through problems and that it helps you feel better about the tough decisions you have to make together. If he works hard, tell him how you appreciate that and how it makes you feel. When you praise him honestly for the parts that you like to see, you’ll see more of those parts and less of the parts you’re not so fond of.
Defer to his opinion when it doesn’t matter.
Does it matter which house you should buy? Of course. Let him know exactly how you feel, and iron out your lists of wants before making a major purchase like that. However, very few men will feel respected if every single daily decision leads to a debate. Let go. I’m not saying that you should be silent if he tells you he wants a moose head in the living room, but really most things aren’t nearly as big as we make them sound.
Never put him down in front of others.
Even in jest or at an attempt to be playful, when a wife takes a verbal jab at her husband in public, his self-respect takes a huge blow, as does his opinion of how much he thinks she respects him. If he says or does something embarrassing, go ahead an have a laugh together — later, in private. Would you put down your boss’ boss in public? Of course not. And why not? Because you respect either him or his position. Show your husband the same respect.
It’s true that the only person who can make you happy is yourself. So when you ask yourself, “how to make my husband happy,” it’s not really possible for you to make your husband happy. However, you can certainly find lots of ways to show him that you’re happy with him. He, in turn, will work harder to be more of the man you’re happy with. He’ll also start showing you love in the way that women need.
In his book, Save the Marriage, Dr. Baucom talks about many more ways a wife can help her husband feel better about himself and the marriage. It’s just one of the areas he lays out for repairing and rebuilding even the most troubled marriages. I highly recommend it for those who are asking, “how to make my husband happy.” Click here to learn more about his book.
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