Warning: You Must Take This Step if You Want to Stop Divorce
Click here to discover more ways to stop divorce and try to recapture what you once had.
The honeymoon is over and suddenly life seems pretty dull. Gradually you and your partner have stopped communicating, and silly little things are starting to aggravate. Before you know it the word ‘divorce’ is mentioned, and you’re left wondering how it all went wrong. If you want to stop divorce, then you must consider the possibility that the problems are on both sides of your relationship.
It’s easy to go along thinking that your partner is the one to blame for all your differences. The fact is that often what you do causes a reaction from your partner, which ultimately leads to grievances. These grievances are often left unsaid, and that is the start of the decline of any marriage.
Respecting one another is an all important part of any marriage. Respecting your partner’s opinion, his/her right to disagree on certain issues and his/her necessity for a certain amount of space in the relationship.
Most disagreements can be overcome by discussion. If you find it impossible to agree then compromise – it’s no big deal.
Supporting each other through trials and tribulations helps to build a bond. Sometimes it’s best to keep your opinions to yourself and just support the other in times of stress. If you really love someone it’s not that difficult to do.
Sharing decisions and responsibilities rather than one carrying all the burdens will help to retain mutual respect for each other.
If something is not working, then set about changing things. Change is exciting and can refresh a stale relationship. No-one is beyond changing their appearance, attitude, goals or desires. If your partner is unhappy with the way your lives are going, change could be the answer, and could totally revitalize your marriage.
Remember, any relationship is hard work. You have to be prepared to put everything you can into it, and back down now and then in order to keep things going. You’re not being defeatist, you’re being clever. You’re using your common sense and weighing up which is more important, being right and losing, or backing down and keeping happiness intact.
In a way divorce is an easy way out. In some cases it’s a case of not bothering to try and restore a marriage. This is not always the case, but divorce is final and you should be very sure before you go down that road that there isn’t a way to resolve your problems.
There are always exceptions of course, for instance violence in a marriage should never be tolerated. In many cases though, divorce can be avoided and solutions found.
Try to remember how you felt about each other when you first got together. Try to bring back some of the ‘magic’ that was there then. A romantic meal or a walk along the beach. Anything that can help you to recall what you once had together. It’s probably still there, but has been buried under the stresses and strains of everyday life.
Click here to discover more ways to stop divorce and try to recapture what you once had.
I feel that my wife lives by double standards. She wants a divorce in our case. She has male friends that she confides in. One that she used to date back in highschool and one that she told she’s always been in love with. Yet she tells me that they don’t want her and nothings going on. Yet she tells one about how horrible of a husband I am all the time and the other flings sexual inuidos her way occationally. She even has another guy she talks to that calls her sexy and gorgeous all the time and tells her that he loves her. Yet…if I call one of my friends sexy or gorgeous…then I’m trying to get with them….of course I’m guilty of snooping and so is she. But when I explain that the things she is finding isn’t what they appear to be and to ask the other party….she won’t do it. But when I want to talk to her “friends” she tells them and they don’t want to talk to me. This is a cycle. No matter if I catch her in something or she “catches” me in something….I’m always the one to apologize and she is the one always threatening to leavee wherein I’m always trying to find solutions to save us. We were separated for for 4 months this year…got back togather in july…now she’s talking divorce again. I’m lost.
@vernon-
There’s a pretty high probability that she’s either having or has had either an emotional affair or a physical affair with one of these guys. I’m guessing also that you’re a classic “nice guy,” and she walks all over you?
Take a look at my post about the “I love you but I’m not in love with you” phenomenon and see if that sounds familiar.
Actually….that’s what it feels like….but she never says it….and if I mention it….she denies it. Sometimes I think she feels I’m stupid.
@Vernon,
Cheaters have a script (without realizing it).
Denial (when confronted) – “It’s not what you think.” or “We’re just friends.” etc.
Anger (when evidence is presented) – “How dare you snoop on me!” or “I can’t believe you’d violate my trust like that (keylogger)!” etc.
Deflection (once the evidence is fully out) – “I wouldn’t have cheated if you’d ______.” or “If you hadn’t _________, I wouldn’t have been out looking.” etc.
Crocodile tears (once they realize the above isn’t working).
True remorse.
Obviously, some cheaters skip some or all of these. There are some, for example, who are never remorseful. Others realize the mistake they’ve made and approach their spouse directly with remorse from the beginning. It just depends on the person.
Unfortunately, the betrayed spouse frequently follows a script, too. The first part of that script is something like, “she’d never do that.”
I really hope for your sake I’m wrong.
Just took an online assessment of our relationship……I scored overall 61….she scored 34…on the section “love for your partner” I scored 78….she scored 31….this really hurts.
What exactly is an emotional affair? I don’t think she has had a physical one….though I’m not ruling it out. But I believe maybe an emotional one.
An emotional affair is a non-physical affair.
The wayward spouse, through texts, emails, phone calls, Facebook, etc, actively flirts and starts forming an emotional connection with someone other than their spouse.
This leads to all of the endorphin-laced feelings associated with “falling in love,” which unfortunately makes the marriage pale in comparison. Once the “good” feelings start, they’ll often do whatever it takes to hold on to them. They will also often escalate the affair, so they can get more of the “goods.”