I’m always on the lookout for good information on how to , and today I found a great article talking about the differences between how men and women handle these problems. It also goes a little bit into the root of the differences.
The author had been running marriage counseling classes for women for years before finally starting classes for men (after women in her classes asked, “why is it always the woman’s job to make the changes?”). During these first classes, she found that men respond completely differently to these situations than women do.
Men tend to be more direct and need specific answers, whereas women tend to accept generalizations.
But most importantly, she touches on some of the differences between men and women that can eventually lead to problems in a relationship.
Men tend to be more physical and women tend to be more phychological. She says that it’s often a man that teaches a woman to be proud of her body and that it’s something to enjoy. It’s more natural for a man due to his physical nature.
On the other hand, a man often has to be taught by a woman to be tender, sensitive, and patient. For women, the closeness, attention and caring are more important that the physical.
Finally, she compares a relationship to salesmanship. The first step in selling anything is to find out what the customer’s needs are. The exact same thing holds true in a relationship. Given the differences between men and women, it’s no wonder when we expect our partner’s needs to be the same as ours that we often miss the mark.
While the article doesn’t have any immediate solutions, for someone who’s trying to figure out how to save marriage, it might just provide a nudge in the right direction.
The article can be found here.
Tagged with: how to save marriage
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