We often hear the expression ‘I’m not in love any more‘ but what exactly does that mean? Initially when we ‘fall in love’ it is a feeling of euphoria and we can’t think about anything or anyone else. We become all consumed with the thought of the other person and can’t wait to see them again.

This is an exciting time in anyone’s life, but being on cloud nine cannot possibly last forever. If it did we would never get anything done, and we’d gradually wear ourselves out. But need it reach the stage where you question, should you stay married if you’re not in love anymore.

What tends to happen after a while is that you develop a mutual love and respect for each other, become close friends and want to make the other person happy. Your happiness becomes their happiness also, and you start to share the day to day happenings in your lives and learn to appreciate each other’s points of view and to know when to compromise and when to stand your ground.

Over time a deep understanding and love takes the place of the overwhelming feelings you first experienced, and, if you work at it and are lucky, your relationship grows.

Respecting each other’s opinion and points of view is all important in any relationship, and so it’s important to realize that once that respect is lost it’s very difficult to get it back.

Before you start to feel you’re not in love with your partner any more, you should ask yourself if that’s because you are unhappy with yourself, with your financial situation, or your work. If there are children in the partnership, do you feel they’ve taken over your lives and you have become strangers to one another.

Think back to when you fell in love. What has changed? Have you both settled into a rut and become bored with each other? Does this necessarily mean you don’t love one another any more?

The tedium of everyday life can take away all our romantic notions of what our lives should be about. By doing things together and talking about your feelings and fears, sometimes it can start to bring back that closeness you once had.

If you don’t eat and drink you will die. The same can be said for a partnership. If you don’t keep one another’s interest alive by sharing things and doing things together your love will wither and die. If you lose sight of what is important to make your relationship stay fresh and fun, or if you let appearance and sense of humor go you will lose one another.

At least try to see where it went wrong before you finally say you no longer love your partner and give up on your marriage.

It’s sometimes easy to give up on something when all it takes is a little time and effort and you’ll be glad you tried again. Love is a strange thing, it can be exciting it’s true, but it can also be just wanting to be in the same room as someone.

Finally, sometimes it’s just distance that makes it seem like the love is gone. For some great advice on new ways to reconnect, click here.

CLICK HERE to discover how to save your marriage!




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