Why Does My Husband Treat Me So Badly? I’ll Tell You Some Possible Reasons
There may be many reasons why a husband starts to treat his wife badly, and without knowing each situation personally, it’s impossible for anyone to be able to give a definitive answer. However, there are certain situations which can lead to a husband being unresponsive and uncaring.
- First and foremost of course it may be that your husband is just an unfeeling and introverted person. This type of man finds it difficult to relate to anyone but in a married situation this can be extremely distressing.
- Do you bother to try and stay attractive for your husband? Some women think that once they’re married they don’t have to make an effort to look attractive any more. A man is easily distracted if you don’t bother with yourself, and in turn of course he will take less care of himself.
- Laughter is the best medicine so they say, and in a marriage it is vital. If you can be cheerful and make him laugh, no matter how difficult life is, you will keep a spark alive and be able face things together.
- Don’t be possessive or over jealous. There’s nothing worse for a man than to feel trapped in a relationship. If you’re constantly looking for his approval, and resenting it every time he talks to another woman, you’re going to make him want to get away from you even more.
- Be your own person. Don’t let him think he is the only thing in your life. Have interests and make a life for yourself as well. When you get home in the evenings you will then have interesting things to talk about to each other.
- Don’t revolve your entire life around the children and leave your husband out in the cold. Do things together as a family and enjoy each other’s company en masse.
- If you don’t respect yourself, you can’t expect anyone else to either. Learn to be in control of your life and you will be able to keep the interest alive in your marriage.
When a woman says ‘my husband treats me bad’ it’s usually assumed he beats her. If this is the case, then there is only one answer and that is to leave him. However much she may want to believe he will change the probability is that he won’t.
If on the other hand he just ignores her and does his own thing without including her, then some of the above points might help to turn the situation around.
If other people are interfering in your marriage then a husband will often start to respond by treating his wife badly. However much you love your parents, once you’re married your spouse and children should come first. You are setting up all sorts of problems for yourself if you allow outside interference no matter how well intended.
The truth is, you can’t change your husband. You can’t change how he thinks. You can’t change how he treats you.
The one thing in your power to change is you.
If you make the effort to make the right changes in yourself (I know it’s not fair), he will follow suit. The trick is in determining what changes you should make in your actions that will bring about the changes in your marriage you’d like to see. It’s not about control, nor am I talking about mind games. I’m talking about becoming a better wife so that your husband will become the man he should be.
Dr. Lee Baucom has a great book, Save the Marriage, where he gives a step-by-step plan on how to find the things you can change to turn back the clock on your marriage. Using his advice, it is possible for anyone in any marriage to restore the love they had back when their marriage was fresh. You owe it to yourself and your marriage to take this small, positive step to try to make things better. Click here to read more about it…
If your husband is physically abusive or engaged in criminal behavior, get out! I believe that any marriage can be saved, however, if your safety is in question, you must take care of yourself first.
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Hi,
I felt relived to see this on net while i was just searching some similar experiences like me in married life.
If your advice to women is be more attractive and your husband won’t treat you like dirt, you are an a** h***.
Thank god I was given the sense to not take every word I read to heart.
If there were a site I could report to for the site that supported men not changing to women’s needs but women always had to change for men’s needs….. I would report you – you women hating site!
@Brenda – I think you might be reading something into this article that wasn’t intended.
If you’re in an abusive relationship, GET OUT and get help.
If your husband is “treating you badly,” this article might provide a little advice.
i really have noticed a pattern in your blogs here and you really must be stuck in the past and know nothing when it comes to woman , telling them to stay attractive and not to let themselves go …….well you can be a beautiful and attractive all the time a man is still a man and men are 10 steps behind woman when it comes to respect in relationships
the fact is men lie , cheat , are downright mean to females on a constant ongoing basis
and you tend to assume all woman are stay at home house wives or something that need to clean up and well in this day and age that is so far from being true
house responsibilities should be split equally for the 2 capable adults in the home not just the female this isnt the 50′s
I think this is good advice – great counsel. Marriages all suffer trouble – but people are such quiters today. Saving your marriage and becoming different people may require intervention and a little separation to drive home the point – but never give up on the fact that God can & will change people – willing or not. And redifine what love is – search out Shakespeare’s Sonnet 116 and think deeply about whether your love for this person has ‘altered when alteration found’ or ‘bent with the bender to remove’. It is my quality of love that is in question – not my spouses.
And don’t give me this propaganda that the children aren’t affected immeasurably, that your community isn’t affected and that your mutual families aren’t affected. This is selfish thinking and angers me greatly. “See to it [my responsibility] that none of you misses the grace of God and let’s a root of bitterness spring up, causing trouble and defiling many.” The grace of God is His ability to change hearts and be in the middle of what you consider impossible.
It matters what we do – and love, true love, will stick it out. If you don’t stick it out, even if you have to remove yourself due to their behavior [acceptable], then it is your character that is in question. And I agree with the above – will it get better next time around? You’re giving up on what could be a good life.
KC