Avoiding a Valentine’s Day Crash and Burn…
I was chatting with a friend yesterday…
She isn’t looking forward to Valentine’s Day this year. Mostly it’s due to last year’s train wreck.
She works in an office with several other women. On Valentines Day, nearly everyone got a nice arrangement of flowers from their husband — some were gorgeous.
The day ticked by…
Late in the afternoon her husband walked into her office with a handful of “wildflowers” in a soda can. She threw them into the garbage, and it led to a HUGE fight.
We’ve pretty much all been there.
Her problem wasn’t the wildflowers (she called them weeds). At times such a gesture would be very sweet. The problem was that she had expectations, or even needs, that weren’t met.
So what was my advice to her (that I’m also passing on to you)?
- Be reasonable with your expectations. If you’re struggling to make ends meet, don’t expect your husband to spend $1000 on this one holiday.
- Sometimes the effort IS what counts. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with acts of service in lieu of or along with gifts. Some people actually prefer these acts over gifts, so unless it’s an ongoing theme, don’t call them cheap. (Last-minute roadside stops don’t count as effort.)
- Communicate. If she’d told her husband how special it makes her feel to get nice flowers on Valentine’s Day, don’t you think most men would try? If you’d like nothing more than a steamy night with your wife, tell her.
- In the end, it’s just a day. It’s FAR more important to keep the romance alive the other 364 days than to place all of the emphasis on this one day.
Finally, if your needs or your expectations AREN’T met and your special day ends in a flaming disaster, try to remember that no relationship (or spouse) is perfect. Most are far from it.
For a great guide on how to cope with an imperfect spouse, even when they can’t ever seem to do the right thing, I recommend Save the Marriage. Maybe you could make this your Valentine’s gift to your marriage. Click here to learn more.
(Husbands: A soda can with wildflowers would be very, VERY sweet on a random non-holiday day.)