Virtually everyone makes New Year’s Resolutions. We make them anew every year, promising ourselves to lose weight, get fit, tighten the financial belt… but how often do we make resolutions as a couple? What sort of New Year commitments can a married couple make that will bring them closer together?
While it’s good for both parties of a marriage to want to improve themselves, it’s also a good thing to determine some areas in which they can work together as a team. This will require mutual consent and desire. Whatever you choose should be New Year’s Resolutions and should not be approached as serious stop-gaps for failing marriage. Make your resolutions challenging and fun. Consider them enhancements to your marriage rather than serious therapy.
If jobs, outside commitments, and family obligations keep you running at fever pitch to the point that you rarely have time to spend together, resolve to schedule a time to make it happen. When you do schedule that time, honor it as a priority. Decide ahead of time what this togetherness will include. Will you resolve to go out to a movie twice a month, just the two of you, employing a babysitter to watch the kids? Will you include a leisurely dinner in the plans? Consider making a list of choices and resolve to narrow that list down a few days before the together time is set. Give yourselves enough time to enjoy the anticipation of your date. Don’t let anything short of a family emergency come between you and your special time.
Resolve to lighten up. Life is serious and you do a good job taking care of all the responsibilities and demands that come your way. Give yourselves permission to laugh once in a while like you did when you were dating. Don’t be afraid to carry on a bit of nonsense now and again, and rediscover how to play with each other. Relearn the art of flirting and teasing. This alone will pump some life-blood back into a marriage that has gone routine. When there’s a twinkle in the eye as you look at each other you will create the same kind of sparks that were there in the old days.
If you want to add a meaningful facet to your lives, consider taking on a service project together. Deliver Meals on Wheels occasionally, or work in the local soup kitchen. Give blood on a regular basis. Assist with a community playground cleanup or refurbishment. Volunteer to help put together care packages for members of the military. Work the polls on election days. There are many organizations that need volunteer help desperately, and the two of you will find it doubly rewarding when you give in abundance together.