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Do you feel as though your marriage is going down the drain? Do you wish there was more you could do?

With one in three marriages breaking up every year and the resulting effect it has on you and your family, you should at least give yourself and your marriage every opportunity to succeed. Don’t be a statistic...

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Marriage Separation – Will My Trial Separation Cause My Marriage to End in Divorce? Yes it Will!

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Will my trial marriage separation end in divorce? Yes, it will! Once you’ve reached the stage where you think the only thing to do is separate, you are almost certainly on the road of no return. Resolving problems before you get to that stage gives you a better chance of avoiding divorce.

If the marriage has, in your eyes become impossible, what makes you think that by walking away from it, albeit temporarily, it’s going to sort out the problem?

After having gone through a series of arguments and intolerable behavior, being on your own and living the single life can seem quite wonderful. However, what you’re not doing is facing up to what caused the problems and trying to resolve them.

The longer you’re away from each other, the less likely it is that you’ll get back together and try to save the marriage.

Marriage separation means you are prepared to live alone without your partner, and once this decision is made whatever caused the breakup in the first place will become less important to you and your partner, and you’ll drift apart.

It’s always best to try to solve a problem together and to realize that both of you are probably contributing to whatever difficulties you’re experiencing. If you loved one another once the chances are that love is still there but has been lost in everyday trials and tribulations.

Look back on what brought you together in the first place and try to recreate that in your lives before you decide to part. Once apart the chances of being able to do this become less and less.

Don’t pressurize each other, let things take their time, and try to be less aggressive and more understanding with each other. Even on points which you may feel quite strongly about, it’s sometimes best to agree and let it go. It doesn’t mean you’re weak, it means you feel the relationship is worth more than any specific issue.

It’s amazing how easy it is to make someone feel good about themselves by subtly letting them think they’ve made a right decision or solved a problem. Even if you’ve really been instrumental in the end result it can work wonders with any relationship if you let your partner have that moment of glory instead.

None of this can be achieved if you’re living apart, and what you once had together will be lost forever.

Sometimes a counselor can help you to realize the potential in your marriage and this is certainly one way to go if you feel you cannot work it out together. In the end though, the solution is in both your hands.

Look at the problems in an objective manner, write them down, and then try to see if they can be resolved by working together. Give it time before making the final decision especially if there are children involved, as this will affect them adversely also.

Will my trial separation cause my marriage to end in divorce? The odds are against you if you choose to separate.

If your spouse is pressuring you to separate or if you are considering it yourself, NOW is the best time to try to start working things out. I highly recommend the book, Save the Marriage. It’s a great step-by-step plan for reconnecting and rebuilding a troubled marriage. It even gives advice for repairing a marriage after separation, but also says that your chances are considerably higher if your avoid separation – even if you just “separate” in the same house. I highly recommend that you consider this book before giving up on your marriage. Click here to read more about it…

How to Make My Husband Happy – Helpful Advice for Wives

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howtomakemyhusbandhappy How to Make My Husband Happy Helpful Advice for Wives
If you’re trying to figure out how to make my husband happy, one of the best ways is to laugh a lot. There is nothing worse for a husband than to be greeted by a miserable face when he comes home from work.

Before you can be happy for your husband though, you have to feel happy inside yourself. So it’s important to understand and know yourself in order to create a happy and contented home for you and your husband.

In order for you to be happy you have to enjoy the things you’re doing in your life. Work and children can take over but it’s essential you create ‘you’ time and develop your creative side. By making time to keep your hobbies alive you’ll be happier inside and it will show.

How to make my husband happy? Be affectionate

Be affectionate. There is nothing like a cuddle or a kiss to eliminate the day’s woes from your husband’s mind. If he knows he’s coming home to a loving wife and children it will cement the marriage.Keep yourself clean and attractive. Don’t let family or tiredness take away your dignity and your self esteem. Try to keep yourself looking at the very best you can so that your husband will want to be with you and can’t wait to come home.

After years of marriage this is not always easy, but it really can be achieved.

Always keep the home clean and make it a haven from the rest of the world. Keep the decor light and airy and have flowers displayed around the rooms to make them welcoming. If you can’t always afford fresh flowers, then use artificial ones and perhaps decorate them with greenery from the garden.

Take time and trouble over preparing the evening meal. A pizza is all right occasionally, but it’s hardly a romantic meal. You can plan in advance and perhaps prepare several dishes at the weekend in order to save you the time when you get home from work or from picking up the children. Think the meals through and try to choose things you know he particularly likes.

How to make my husband happy? Spend time together

Sitting eating together is important in any marriage, as you can talk over the day’s events and laugh or cry together. Talking things over and laughing at things together can make even the bad events of the day more tolerable. Laughter is very definitely the best medicine.

Sometimes it’s good to give your husband space and quiet. He doesn’t necessarily want to hear lots of girlie gossip, save that for your friends. Silence can be a sign of affection in that you are aware of his need for solitude and quiet. Respect that and leave him to relax.

When you go out together don’t make him feel embarrassed because you are talking too loud and don’t relate private things to others.

Compliment him and let him know you appreciate how hard he works for you and your family. Don’t nag him about things he hasn’t done, rather mention in a subtle way and let him end up thinking he’s remembered it himself. A simple thing no doubt, but a good way to make your husband happy.

Finally, be respectful towards your husband. Women need love in a relationship, but men need respect first. If you show him respect, the odds are he’ll show you love.

I know this advice seems like it comes from the 40′s, but being a good wife is the best first step to having your husband act like the man you want. The book, Save the Marriage, gives a step-by-step plan for rebuilding and strengthening a marriage – even if you’re the only one working on it. It explains what to do and why these things work. It’s not about reverse psychology or anything like that – it just lays out a plan for small changes you can make which will lead to making him a better husband (and a better marriage). If you’re frustrated with the way things are, I highly recommend this book. Click here for more information on how to make my husband happy…

4 Tips – How to Fix Marriage After Trust is Gone

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Trust is a difficult thing to attain and once it’s been broken is even more difficult to regain. However, if you really want to fix your marriage and save it from divorce, then you can work slowly towards creating a happy marriage once again.

The first thing to consider is what caused you to lose your trust in the first place. There has to be an understanding between both partners as to what led up to the problem. By talking about it and discussing the where’s and why’s you can work out how to try and rebuild the trust between you again.

There is no quick fix answer to lack of trust. Once you feel uncertain about your partner there is a constant feeling of doubt which is difficult to eliminate. It therefore has to be a joint effort and continuous openness in order to regain the feeling of security you once had.

Below are four ways of facing the problem and trying to overcome it:

  1. You have to be prepared to forgive and to move on. If you are constantly feeling bitterness towards your spouse you will not be able to work together to rebuild the trust.
  2. Talk, talk, talk. So often couples drift apart because they don’t talk to one another any more. By discussing your feelings and problems you can help each other to build a closeness and trust and feel secure in the knowledge that you’re helping each other to overcome any problems together.
  3. Curb your suspicions and jealousy. Don’t watch and accuse every time your spouse is home late or spending time talking to someone else. Over possessiveness can lead to a feeling of claustrophobia and the instinct then is to run. You have to let go, and learn to trust again.
  4. Try to keep the interest alive in the marriage by doing things together. Even making time to sit and dine together by candlelight one evening a week can help to reignite the romance you feel you may have lost.

Apart from your partner’s indiscretions which originally caused the problem, be it financial, another partner, or whatever other reason, you should also look to yourself. Could it be that you have in some way contributed to the situation.

Of course, at the same time, your spouse must be completely transparent. If they even seem to be hiding something, they are not making the effort that they should be making to earn your trust. For couples with trust issues, I highly recommend the book, Save the Marriage. This book lays out a plan for both the “guilty” party and the “hurt” spouse. It talks about how you have to step back from the problem and focus on the marriage. The step-by-step plan it gives can even help a couple recover from an affair… even make the marriage stronger afterwards than it ever was before. Click here to read more about this book…

Trust is a difficult thing to define, but to a certain extent we all want to feel we can rely on someone completely before we commit to them. The fact that this doesn’t always work out does not mean it can’t be rectified, and if there was once a deep love then it’s definitely worth trying to overcome the problems together for the sake of your family and to fix marriage.

Remember though, it’s a two way solution and you must both commit to it completely for it to work. You can fix a marriage after trust has gone, but it will take time and patience and a great deal of self searching. If the love is still there it’s worth the effort.

Divorce Your Wife – Give Me 4 Good Reasons Why I Shouldn’t Be Divorcing My Wife & Leaving Her

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You are feeling your marriage has lost its spark, you’re fed up with your wife and you can’t stand all the arguments and bad feeling that seems to be the norm in your life at the moment. So you ask yourself why you shouldn’t just divorce your wife. Here are four good reasons not to.

  • It has been shown that divorced men suffer more illnesses than married men. Many divorced men become depressed and withdrawn, and as a result their work suffers. A divorced man is not always looked upon as good promotional material within a company.
  • If there are children in the marriage it can cause them extreme distress, and will almost certainly cause them difficulties within their future relationships. They will find themselves with divided loyalties and not know how to cope.
  • The financial aspect of getting divorced can be crippling, and can cause you, your wife and your children a great deal of financial hardships.
  • Divorce causes a great deal of stress all around the family concerned, and can lead to both physical and mental health problems.

Are you absolutely certain that the love you once felt and vows you took are irretrievable?

Bearing all the above points in mind, perhaps it would be wise to consider why your marriage has become impossible for you.

Often I hear a husband say that all he hears is complaints from his wife. “She’s never happy with anything I do.” or “I can’t do anything right.” The frustration can build, eventually to the point where you wonder if the marriage is worth saving.

The good news is that your marriage can be better than it’s ever been.

The book, Save the Marriage lays out a step-by-step plan for turning back the clock. It describes simple things you can do to rebuild the marriage so that your wife starts showing the respect and love for you that she did when your marriage was new. It’s even broken down almost like a service manual. If your marriage is _______ then go to page _____. In fact, it’s the marriage manual you should have had from the start.

Click here to discover how it can help bring back the woman you married…

Financial problems are always a big strain on any marriage however perfect it may be. Nothing is insurmountable if you both love each other, and by reassessing your lifestyle and coming to terms with what is really important in your lives, i.e., each other, you can overcome and win through any financial situation as long as you do it together.
Boredom is a killer, and if you’ve allowed your marriage to settle into a rut where there are no nice surprises, and you don’t bother to look nice for each other, then you’re on a downward spiral.

If you can recognize this then you’re half way there to rectifying it. Don’t become complacent and think you don’t have to bother any more. If you want that sparkle to return then you must make it happen.

Be optimistic and talk about your future together. No matter how hopeless your situation may seem, you can turn it around if you want to. Don’t wait for things to happen, make them happen.

If you’re always arguing, then ask yourself what the arguments are about. Listen to each other and if you can’t resolve a situation then ask someone else for advice if necessary. Whatever it is that’s causing such disagreements there is always a way to sort it through. Remember you loved each other once and believe that you can again.

Marriage is a commitment which once undertaken takes a great deal of work and compromise for it to become a long lasting, mutually agreeable relationship. The grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence, but in the end any relationship requires a great deal of effort to keep it alive. If you divorce your wife, it means you’ve given up on what could have been a good life.

 

Your Husband – How Do You Know If He Still Loves You?

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Some women are lucky enough never to have to ask the question, “how do I know if my husband still loves me?” However, there are many men who find it difficult to express their feelings in words and this can lead to his partner feeling unsure of his love for her.

As time goes by in a marriage, a man often doesn’t think it necessary to tell his wife how much he loves her. This doesn’t necessarily mean he’s lost interest, it’s just that men think it unnecessary to keep reassuring their spouse how much they mean to them.

Women generally are far more outgoing in expressing themselves and can’t understand why men aren’t the same, but men are generally far more reserved.

By taking care of his family and providing for them, a man is showing his love for them in the best way he can. He may not necessarily always say what you want to hear, but he will show it in the things he does for you and the children and in little gestures of affection.

If he still wants to be with you and do things together then he obviously still has the love for you or he would make excuses and not be around so much.

If you feel you’re losing his affection then try to understand what’s causing him to be distracted and do something about it. He may be preoccupied with problems at work, in which case it helps to have someone to talk it over with.

Don’t forget to greet him when he comes home with enthusiasm and a smile. How nice to open the door to a warm welcome rather than a tired and grumpy one. If you want to keep your husband’s love you have to make the home a haven at the end of the day for both of you. A happy atmosphere makes so much difference to your soul, and helps you to overcome so many things in life.

Love grows and deepens when you share things together and respect each other’s need for space. Marriage doesn’t mean you have to be in each other’s pockets all the time. Different activities and interests keep a marriage alive and make it grow.

Realizing when your husband is worried or unhappy means you care about him, and the same applies in reverse. If your husband doesn’t see when you’re unwell or feeling tired, then something is missing in your relationship and it’s time to rectify it.

Don’t take him for granted, but don’t become part of the furniture in his life either. Love has to be fed or it will die and if you are endeavouring to keep the marriage harmonious then his love will continue to thrive. You will see this in the way he looks at you, and in the things he does for you.

Unfortunately, when it starts feeling like your husband is distant, it can be hard to find ways to connect. What makes it worse is when you start questioning your own feelings towards him, too. How do you know if he still loves you? Sometimes you have to take your relationship back to its beginnings. Begin working on rebuilding a friendship and the love will soon blossom again.

In the book, Save the Marriage, Dr. Baucom talks about exactly these things. He gives some great advice on what to do to start rebuilding your marriage from its foundations without doing anything that could cause the rifts in your marriage to grow. If you feel like things just keep getting worse, I highly recommend this book as a way for you to start finding traction.

At likely less than the cost of a single session with a marriage counselor, this book can replace months of sessions. He also sends a quick-start-guide so you can hit the ground running, as well as guides that will teach you how to “fight” the right way and a guide of the things not to do. With all he includes, it’s really a bargain.

I’ve looked at dozens of resources, and Dr. Baucom’s is the only one I recommend. Click here for more information…

 

10 Top Secrets To A Long And Happy Marriage From Happily Married Couples

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Marriage is sometimes entered into lightly, but the reality is that it’s a commitment which needs nurturing and patience in order to be successful. The secrets to a long and happy marriage are not really secrets at all, just knowing how to retain the love and friendship which brought you together in the first place.

  1. If you get married thinking you can change your partner into someone else, forget it! You were undoubtedly attracted to them in the first place because of who they were, so why should you want them to change? Adapt yourself to fit in with your spouse if you want your marriage to succeed.
  2. Whatever happens, don’t stop talking to each other. A problem shared is a problem halved so the saying goes, and it is definitely true in a marriage. Whatever your difficulties they can be sorted out together rather than apart.
  3. Don’t stop being intimate with one another. Love and affection are so important in order to keep the spark alive in a marriage. Sex is important, but so is holding each other and considering the other’s needs and desires in a sexual relationship.
  4. No-one is perfect, not even you! You should already know some of your spouse’s so called flaws before you marry, but sometimes in a domestic situation they can suddenly seem to have blown out of proportion. Learn to accept them, or subtly try to point them out, but never let them become a barrier in your relationship.
  5. The worst thing anyone can do to someone close to them is to totally ignore them. The feeling of worthlessness this creates can cause a multitude of problems. In order for your marriage to remain a happy one, you must always appreciate the other’s point of view and make allowances.
  6. Arguing is all part and parcel of living with someone. You can’t always agree no matter how close you are to one another. Don’t let the arguments get out of hand though, and don’t let them fester.
  7. It’s important to retain the part of yourself which is outside of the marriage. So don’t let your friends disappear, keep up your relationships and spend time with them. It will also give you things to talk about when you get home.
  8. Don’t take each other for granted. Don’t expect your spouse to automatically always do the chores or to accept your bad moods. Consider their feelings, and their daily tasks, and offer to help out.
  9. Try to have time to yourselves when you can sit in a romantic setting and enjoy each other’s company as you did before you were married. It will remind you of why you got together in the first place, and will also help to create a deep friendship.
  10. Whatever problems you encounter, and however awful they may seem at times, try to find it in your heart to forgive each other. A long and happy marriage is often built on the art of being able to forgive.

If you wish there’d been a “marriage manual” to help you figure out what was going wrong and to help you do more of the “right” things, there is! The book, Save the Marriage, is exactly that. While it can help someone bring even the most troubled marriage back, it can also help someone in a great marriage keep it from sliding. Click here to check it out…

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