We are all selfish — some more than others. It’s very normal for us to be concerned with our own self interests. However, in a marriage, we have to give some of that up and make continual efforts at making sure our spouses interests are being met.
Power struggles are a way to take what we want. We disregard others’ opinions and desires and push our agenda or wants, no matter the outcome. This is very destructive to a marriage.
In a healthy marriage, both partners should be willing and able to freely discuss their needs and wants, and both should be willing to bend to try to help their spouse meet their needs. Each spouse should be willing to consider the other’s opinions. It’s also important that these discussions remain calm and even loving.
Once a couple has learned how to diffuse power struggles, they are often on the road to saving marriage.