Do I Really Want to Learn How to Save the Marriage?
My marriage has actually been on the rocks for some time now. I did some research and study on just how to conserve my relationship. What I soon came to realize was that I may not have been as keen on saving my marriage as I previously thought. Did I really want to save my marriage, or did I just think that was the thing I was supposed to try to do? I needed some type of system and some type of plan.
The first thing I learned was we both need to communicate better. I am so excited, this shouldn’t be too hard, we used to talk about everything all the time. I am going to start as soon as we both get home from work. I will suggest that we cook dinner together, open that nice bottle of wine we bought on that vacation we took a couple of years ago, and start talking while we eat our dinner.
I found that I have to be honest with myself, that no matter how much I want my marriage to work I may not be able to save it. My husband needs to want to save it and be willing to work on things, too. No matter how much I may want to, I can’t do it all by myself and I can’t force him to want to work on it if he really does not want to.
I also realize that we don’t have a clue on how to communicate. Sure, we talk, but we don’t really ‘get’ the other person most of the time. So often when I try to tell him how I feel he gets mad and thinks I‘m attacking him. I‘m just trying to express my worries, concerns or fears but he seems to take it as a personal attack.
I will suggest we talk about why we haven’t been getting along lately, just see what’s going on. I know this is going to take some work on both our parts but I want to save my marriage.
Hopefully if this dinner is a success we can start to figure out how to spend more quality time together. I think we should have a date every now and then. We get so caught up in the day to day managing of this household we forget we need to connect with each other in meaningful ways. I want to feel in love again and stop feeling like we are just roommates. Maybe if we both agree that our marriage needs work and then agree to try to fix what is wrong, we can find our happily ever after, after all.
Then there is the subject of sex. The research I did said that if you and your partner have not had sex for a while then one of you needs to take the initiative and seduce the other. I went out today and bought some new lingerie and some new candles. I had time to get them into the bedroom and set up already. After dinner I will excuse myself and go put on the lingerie and light the candles. Ooh, I will put on some romantic music, too. Then I will take him by the hand and lead him into the bedroom for an unforgettable night.
I am going to make these little changes starting tonight and maybe, just maybe, I will be able to save my marriage.
For help in answering the question of whether or not your marriage can be saved, check out our Save the Marriage System by Clicking Here.